Back to Work!

My year of government mommy pay has expired. Yes, I’m back at work. Each morning I drive my little ones to their new daycare, lunches in hand. I have to remove the two of them from my arms like a strip of Velcro; crying baby and clinging toddler. At least Nathan has an understanding of what is going down. He knows the difference between “weekday” and “weekend”. But Cecilia on the other hand, is comfortably oblivious, at least until the absolute point of removal, when she wails like banshee.

My mind is torn. Part of me is in mourning every minute of the day that I’m separated from the wee ones, the other part is elated each time I get to; eat a relaxed meal, go to the bathroom by myself and just sit and think about work things. It is a mental dichotomy to which my very soul is fighting to come to terms with.

I have to remember that I’m privileged with choice. Many Moms are forced to have one or the other life; either full time job or full time mom, with no say in the matter. Financially speaking I could have stayed home with the kids, had that been my selection. I’d like to say that I consciously made my decision, but I can’t say that I did. Time marched along, and suddenly I was back at work and my mat leave was over. Sure, I thought and thought and thought about my options, but in the end I took the path of least resistance, and returned to status quo.

I don’t feel guilty, and that is usually an emotion most prominent in the mommy-brain battle. I know my children are well cared for at daycare – in some ways I think they are better off. I’m a chemist. I do not have childcare training. Do I know how to glue macaroni pictures? Definitely not. Can I make playdough? No. My idea of circle time is sitting around a BBQ and drinking beer. Hardly fun play material.

It is not that I don’t know I’m a good mom, it is just that at home I always felt like the kids had to compete day-in and day-out with all my other duties. Now THAT made me feel guilty. Mommy, come read me a story? Not now honey, Mommy needs to fold this six foot high pile of laundry. Mommy, goo-goo-gaa-gaa (translation: I want boob). Wait a minute Princess, Mommy needs to self-medicate with chocolate and alcohol. Okay, so I wasn’t that bad, but I’m guessing you get the picture.

In the end I know things will work out. They always do. Kids grow up, go to school, I’ll go to work and life will plow-on. I know my decision has made an affect of the dynamic of our family, but hey, I was raised in daycares and I turned out okay – right?

Forgive my spelling I am dead tired.

So Yes, I am alive. I am so sorry I havent been in touch. Europe has been so insain. I hung around in Spain, Andorra was my fav, so beautiful this sweet little town in the mountains. I parted way with the tour de france there. I then went to france, spent a few hours Passing through southern france, towns right on the ocean, Montpellier, Nice, and more northern parts like Leige and Paris, where I slept under the Eiffle tower.
Then came Belgium. Have you seen the movie In Brugges? I was there, at the bell tower, eating my fritz and belgium waffles as I reminesed of the man falling from the tower and going splat, wonderful movie. I passed through Brussles on my way to The Netherlands. Oh yes, Holland the land of windmills and wooden shoes... and pot. Amsterdam was quite the experience.
In Germany I met my Bro Cory In Berlin, we visited the Berlin Wall, it was big let down so we headed for Prague. Prague was A very pretty city with the funniest tour guide ever to grace this planet. Then through Slovakia To Budapest. In budapest We did some hiking and visited the underground labaryinth of Buda castle, freakin sweet.
Now I sit, at this moment, writting you this painfully blog. I have no wit left in me as it is 4:30 in the am. Today was a small disaster Cory became violently ill and had no travel insurance. This city is limited when it comes satisfactory health care so I preped myself for a trip to the embassy, just as I was loosing all hope he regained color in his face and seemed to be feeling much better. He is doing much better now and tomorrow I think we will head to Austria and split ways. I will head to Italy Venice, Las Spezia and Rome. Ferry to Greece where I will see the sights of Athens and take a ferry to Santorini. I will Flop over on the beach and relax for the first time during my whole excursion. I have a flight that leaves Santorini, London bound and I will Finish my travels with a trip to the Stone Hedge. There you have it. feewwww I am hitting the hay and I will be dreaming of home. Love you all Jaclyn

Landing In London

Hello!

I wish you could folded up and put in my suit case, although it might get cramped with dozens of people, not to mention the excess baggage fees.

The past couple weeks have consisted of; departing Amman, Jordan after a tour of the city(I was held hostage and force fed street-vendor food), a trip to Madba and the Dead Sea (unreal! floating around on my back while hacking a dart), exploring Petra (18KM of pure torture in 100 degree heat! The hike took 8 hours!) and of course my Camping excursion in the desert .I didn't share my bed with any scorpions, But I was sharing the "outhouse" with a spider the size of a toilet paper roll. I took a picture next to the roll for the sake of the scale.

The highlight of the desert was attempting to surf the sand dunes on a card board box (the key word here is "attempting"). It was unsuccessful. I wound up just jumping down the dunes as the beautiful red sand engulfed my feet burning them as if I was walking on hot coals.

So yes, now here I am in London, a busy place,the "New York" of Europe. I spend a lot of my time lost amongst the many "tubes"(subways) that make up London's transit system.

I don't feel bad about this for 2 reasons. 1: it makes for a good adventure 2:There are so many locals who are just as lost as I am, if not more.

Today I spent my time taking in the sights of city, I wandered about, losing myself in the crowd. I found my self again standing under the wonderful Peter Pan clock! aka "big ben" The architecture is phenomenal with so much detail in Gothic style. Tomorrow I will watch the change of the guards at Buckingham Palace, and Wednesday my flight departs London to arrive in Barcelona, Spain.

I will be hanging out in Barcelona for a few days, but my main priority is Ibiza....great excuse to let loose and party after the mayhem of the East! If you choose to quit your job, sell your house, sell your car and loose your mind, please, come join me! I would love some company to share the sights, keep me safe, and hold my hand while crossing the streets of these insane freaking cities. I love and miss each and everyone of you. Jaclyn